Pranjal and Ruchi, a young couple with a 5 years old son live on golf course road DLF-5 Gurgaon. Both of them work in MNCs and have a great job. After their fight last month they haven’t talked to each other and don’t feel an urge to restart communication process. It never used to be this way earlier, but somehow it has been going downhill now. Did they miss early warning signal?
It’s a fictitious story but very close to what some of us are going through in our relationship. We don’t pay attention to warning signs and get into a situation which become difficult to repair. Trouble in marriage also causes mental issues such as depression, stress, and anger etc.
While every relationship is unique, there are a few common warning signs that indicate the existence of some serious conflict or differences in a marriage. Often times, couples brush these differences under the carpet rather than discussing and ironing them out. With busy work schedules and the buzz of daily life, couples often fail to even pick up cues that indicate trouble. We’ve put together some of the most common symptoms of marital distress to make sure you aren’t caught off guard.
You don’t make decisions together – Marriage is a partnership between two people who are equals. If you or your partner often find yourselves shutting the other out and calling the shots alone, there’s trouble brewing.
Self Care – When you lose interest in nurturing yourself physically, staying healthy and well turned out and notice a dip in emotional wellness or the surfacing of an eating disorder, chances are a troubled relationship is nagging you at the back of your mind.
Lack of Intimacy – Decreased levels of intimacy, separate bedrooms and reduced physical closeness are signs of a troubled marriage. Whether its work stress, family or other issues, don’t let it creep in between the two of you.
Ghosts of the Past – If you find yourself often discussing past problems and conflicts that lead to arguments and name calling, chances are there’s a lot of emotional baggage that you are carrying that’s been left unaddressed.
Lack of Communication – Not sharing details of your day, health, work-life stress, new friends or colleagues are all indications that you don’t look at each other as a friend you can share things with. Sharing everyday happenings is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Ignoring the Elephant in the Room –When you can go days without thrashing out a gnawing issue while giving each other the silent treatment and behaving like all is well, you are definitely in a relationship that requires fundamental rebuilding.
Loneliness – If you feel a sense of loneliness despite being around your partner and find yourself relying on others for emotional support or a fun time, there’s certainly trouble brewing between the two of you.
Hiding Information – Often walking to another room to answer calls, deleting texts, toying with the idea of a casual affair, indulging in flirting with the opposite sex and hiding information about outings or acquaintances from your partner are activities that if indulged in, indicate that your marriage is on the rocks.
Fighting & Impact on other Relationships – You often find yourself fighting in front of friends, your children or your parents with shouting, teasing, name-calling and absolute lack of mutual respect; If you notice the reflection of your troubled marriage affecting the emotional well being of your child with anger management and child psychology issues spewing, your marriage is certainly in the doldrums
A troubled marriage certainly doesn’t spell out separation. One important lesson we must all imbibe is that no marriage or relationship is perfect. Every couple must constantly work on improving their relationship, learning more about their partner and working together to beat out differences and problems. After all, it does take two to tango.
If you are also facing a few or these symptoms, then you should seek counselling support from trained experts. Talk therapies to identify issues and resolving them are very effective. These talk therapies also help in reducing mental stress that a troubled marriage causes.