Expert Corner: Dr. Nalini Taneja
Dr Nalini Taneja is a PHD with more than 20 years experience in counselling. She has worked in India, Australia and many countries in SE Asia. She is a well known counselor with expertise in cases related to depression & anxiety, relationship problems, and parenting problems. She was awarded the Red Cross award for her services to the health and education sector by the Government of Korea. She is author of a book for young adults which focuses on incorporating human values in daily life titled ‘I am enough – Seven steps to Enhance your Self-Esteem’.
Dr. Nalini is an expert counselor with Elate Wellbeing a platform to help people become happier and healthier! Elate Wellbeing provides best online counseling in Gurgaon, Delhi, Chandigarh and other cities in India. Our counselors and psychologists have expertise in depression, anxiety, relationship management, ADHD, children learning disorder, general stress management and many more mental problems.
1- What kind of issues parents are bringing to you for counselling for children?
Parents come to me primarily with three main issues: 1. Children are not listening to them. 2. Children are not doing well at school and 3. or situations like- my child does not talk to me, there is no communication between me and my child.
2- Are these children related cases increasing and what could be possible cause for such increase?
Yes, the cases are increasing by the day and there are multiple causes of the same. Firstly parents nowadays are unable to spend quality one to one time with their child. They are spending less time to understand them better. Secondly lack of awareness on the part of parents on parenting. They want their children to become their clones instead of appreciating the individuality and personality each child brings. Parents are seeing things from their own perspective rather than appreciating age of their child, and normal growth pattern for kids. Also there is a factor related to rise social media which is giving a different kind of exposure to kids. Both parents and children are unable to draw boundaries around it. 3- Normally what process do you adopt for counselling for parents and children? Also does counselling help?
I usually like to spend one to one time with the parents first to understand where they are coming from. I like to delve deep into their background, their hopes, their aspirations and their upbringing. very often they are unaware of the way they are communicating with their child. They are themselves battling issues of low self-esteem, stress, and societal pressure. Once I have interacted with them at a very deep level do I talk to the child and create an intervention plan.
Yes, counselling does help in most of such cases. 4- What advise will you give to parents to identify these issues earlier and how best to tackle them?
Parents need to be more involved with their children they need to pay attention to what their children are upto. Also love is a huge factor in parent child relationship. Spending time with your children is very important. Parents need to be aware that they had children of their choice and reminding them day in and day out about what they do for their children demotivates the child. They should be aware of sudden changes in food habits, sleep patters and mood patterns of their children. 5- You have also worked with various schools, could you give some valuable insights on how schools should prepare to deal with such issues?
As far as schools are concerned, we should make sure the teachers and the staff are aware of the challenges they face. Teachers are mostly over-worked and do not have resources and strategies at hand to take better care of themselves. We organise self-care workshops for teachers and teach them social and emotional skills to manage themselves and their students.
Schools should hold seminars for parents and help them understand the challenges the teachers and students go through. From bullying to shaming most parents are unaware of what their children have to cope up with. It is all about raising awareness. Maya Angelou puts it beautifully, "when you know better, you do better." I believe schools, teachers and parents want the best for the students and children, we need to work towards equipping with the right tools and strategies so that our children can flourish and become and become the best version of themselves.